FROM START TO FINISH (my full diabetes testimony)

I was molested when I was a child so my response was to hide. I hid by intentionally making myself ugly and “undesirable” because I thought that I am attracting the wrong attention. I kept it in my heart and the weight packed year after year, and before I knew it, I weigh more than 230 pounds. I eat the wrong foods and drink alcohol everyday when I was in college and my life looked good on the outside but was a mess inside. I was so insecure. My breakthrough started in the summer of 2004, when I met the Lord Jesus Christ and accepted Him as my personal Lord and Savior and since then, my life and the way I see things started to change. Some are instant some are not. My unhealthy lifestyle in terms of food choices and being a couch potato most of the time for 20 years is not an easy habit to break. But God’s faithfulness and love continued to heal my heart—so much that I responded to His call for me to be a missionary.

Two months before I was deployed, I was asking the Lord how I will lose weight. I wanted to be healthy. But I was too lazy to go on a diet. A few days later, I felt a weird back pain and decided to see a doctor to have it checked. To my surprise, the diagnosis was apart from the back pain that I came there for—I was diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes on March 2009 at an early age of 25. I was fond of donating my rare blood type (AB+) back then, so when the doctor broke the terrible news, I was a bit upset. I remember my journal entry that night, it says: “I am about to be offended, I can feel it. I cried because I can no longer donate my rare blood type because I’ll be under medication, possibly for life. But then again it occurred to me… ONLY ONE TYPE OF BLOOD IS NEEDED—THE ONE THAT WAS SHED IN THE CALVARY TO REDEEM HUMANKIND… THE BLOOD OF JESUS. Then I thought, I can’t skip meals anymore because it will affect my blood sugar… am I denied to fast? I grieved for a moment. But again I realized, this arrangement is a fasted lifestyle. Abstinence. I remember Anna’s story from the Bible, the widow who fasted and prayed day and night… This is the perfect set-up. I rest my case. Father, what kind of response are you asking of me?” Usually, when things like this happen in a person’s life, it will take a period of time to undergo certain phases–Denial, Depression and Acceptance. As a Psychology major, I am aware of that. But it all happened to me in just one day. That time I knew, I was no longer dependent on who I am and what I know, but to God’s grace and power. I can do and face anything through Him who gives me strength.

Come to think of it, a diabetic lifestyle is a healthy one—low fat, low sugar, high fiber, and  active. Makes sense. One of our church leaders said to me, “so are you just going to accept that?” and I told her, “it’s not that I’m accepting the condition, I choose to accept the lifestyle the condition is suggesting, if this is the only way that my attitude toward health will be corrected, then so be it.” At least I will be forced to be healthy.  Now, I am 40 pounds lighter (still dropping), I exercise at least 3 times a week and my lifestyle totally changed—all by God’s grace. Not by my own strength but His. I share my testimony to people so that they will know that God is real and that anything is possible through Jesus. He is my Healer and my Strength. His love is the fuel that keeps me going. His love is my Metformin.

The truth is, we all have our battles. They just come in different forms. But no amount of illness can stop me from doing what I am called to do. His grace is sufficient. It’s JUST Diabetes. I have a big God who already conquered sin and death.  My God is the Great Physician. Whether diabetes is for now or for life, I will still choose to say “blessed be the Name of the Lord.” To Him be the honor, glory and praise!

Life without sugar… but with a SWEET Lord… It’s worth the trade. (^_^)

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